Pondering why sometimes I have dreams that focus on jobs that I have had in the past. I guess that I am one of those people who never breaks off clean from a job. There is always some weird unspoken or sometimes unfortunately spoken conflict. Last night I dreamed of two previous jobs and there is always some animosity between me and my superiors that gets shoveled out on me in the dream. I wonder why I don't just take control of it, I do on occasion take control of a dream and hand out a slumbering judgment that is never fair or equitable. But, isn't that my right? It is my dream it is my life. I choose who I work for and when, why is it that I always get tangled up with some business that thinks that I am some type of indentured servant. I am in the dream and I come to terms with unresolved conflict. I don't know why certain people decide that there is a hierarchy that you mustn't alter in any way. Screw that. I won't bow down I will take in this life what ever knowledge I can glean and I will not be servant to anyone. So having said that, I will also say that I have fulfilled my obligations to those in my past, especially past employers and that is the bible truth!
Next time I dream I take this with me, solace in justification. I validate my own sentiments and my own obligatory terms.

The Texas Eagle drove us. The train tracks stretched for days in either direction with scarcly a town between. The sky in the lone star state was still hanging clear but just with a taste of winter haziness about the edges. Well everyone had pretty much fallen asleep except a couple of folks here and there, an old black lady with a kerchief tied up like aunt Jemima was just about as sweet as that apple pie she was eating she smiled lovingly at me each time I walked by and she commented on my baby girl about how precious and beautiful she was. I didn't argue with her, I thanked her though and now the baby was asleep too. I stepped out to the platform to have a look at San Antonio skies. An old boy Kenneth was down rocking on his heels on his way to the Big "D" to have Christmas with his momma. Another younger man less assured was on his way to Blooomington to accompany his wife to a physical screening for deployment;his name was Daniel and he was ashamed to tell us that he worked in a hotel as a housekeeper. Kenneth defended him and told him various ways he could work up the chain of command and consequently make slightly more than the six bucks an hour he was getting presently. There was also the younger man who had the Cali gangster Dickie's and giant t-shirt thing going on he came down from the bay area headed also to Dallas to spend Christmas with his mother, he actually lectured me for a while about how you only get one momma-turns out I was going to Chicago to do the same thing and I concurred with his heartfelt sentiments. He was actually a sweet kid and offered me his chronic snoop dog style I had to politely turn it down, but the thought was there for sure. I don't remember his name for some reason but there was this love that developed on the train, we all had some similar purpose some sort of bond. I bet you don't get that in first class flights. Later I found myself rocked right to sleep in that car, the train puts a strong drowsy of its own right down on you like a quilt of nights woven with threads of stardust and dreams. I lost my hostility and my sick anticipation for things of life that were outside of my control anyways. I will remember this journey that united me with others who journeyed to different destinations that all pass through the same point on the Texas Eagle.